I write to you through OUR journal, but I can feel a dark presence preventing this note to going through clearly. It has been difficult to find a signal in this dark castle to write to you. I am not sure if you will receive this, but I pray that with Melora’s help it will.
My beloved, let me first assure you that I am alive and well and our mission is going better than expected (which is not too difficult considering or often low standards, and reprehensible luck).
Time seems to pass much slowly down here in the chasms of the castle. 5 minutes of conflict feels like 1 hour and it appears that an evil presence works against us. If this was a dungeon, this evil presence would be our dungeon master, who attempts to screw us over at every turn. My comrades and I have braved the darkness through to the deepest pit in the darkest hallways and have made some progress…
What feels like over half a year ago (but could actually be only a few minutes), we found a room that was swarming with Goblins. One of the Goblins was being imprisoned and so with a little careful intimidation by Three, we managed to acquire a new pet, who has been very resourceful to us in this Castle. If we survive this, I will bring little Smeagol home to you. I know you’ve always wanted a puppy. This dog-faced creature is the next best thing. And besides, he’s potty trained.
Shortly after our newest recruit, we found ourselves in a dark, twisted corridor where light did not exist. Down one end of the hall, was a longer one, with a large statute of Bahamut at the end. I recognized Bahamut immediately and proclaimed my recognition of Bahamut to my comrades, informing them it was Bahamut, for Bahamut was the god that I once worshipped (Bahamut being the name of Bahamut, the dragon god). Unknown to us however, the very mention of Bahamut’s name caused the neverending onslaught of skeletons that were attacking us. We were outnumbered, and surrounded, and terrified.
We held our ground against the skeletons for a long time until our brave leader The Colonel noticed the writing at the base of the statute. With a mighty cry, and steadfast (and headfirst) charge, The Colonel charged through the skeletons, but fell. Thankfully he fell right where the writing on the Statue was, and his skill with Dragonborn language came quite in handy.
It was at that moment that I realized it was my calling out of Bahamut’s name was why the skeletons were attacking us. Immediately, I was silenced, and shortly thereafter the skeletons retreated into their coffins. We healed momentarily and proceeded into the next room where an incredible sight befell us.
A large skeletal figure, possessed by the ghost of a broken warrior, approached us. The mighty Skeletor tested each of my party members to determine if we were even worthy of speech. My charisma and valor paid off and I was deemed worthy.
The tale Skeletor told us brought tears to my eyes. Skeletor was once an honourable knight, who fell to the darkness, and as a result of his obsessions, lost everything. His wife. His family. Everything. As he was speaking, I could feel a cold shiver flow across my back as I realized that were I in his position, I too may make the terrible decisions which ultimately led to his depressing fate. My dearest, I cannot even fathom what would happen to me were I ever to lose you…I would move the heavens and the Earth, convince the Gods, and bend them to my will if I had to…I would slaughter a thousand jedi, and even more younglings in your name…
I cannot live without you. Until we met, I was but a lost soul. Now I am found (Googlescroll-Maps helped determine where I was).
It was when Skeletor finished speaking that I could feel what was happening in the world outside. I could feel the City under siege, I could feel the forces of darkness slowly approaching your door. For a long moment, the urgency to rush to your aid was overwhelming, and just as Skeletor had done, I was ready to throw this entire world away just to save you. My comrades managed to knock some sense into me, and reminded me of what Skeletor had told us…that we HAD to close the Hell Mouth and avenge the death of his family. Should we rush out to save the Castle now, the world would fall to Orcus. The ONLY way to end this madness would be to go deeper into the Castle of Darkness…Which is exactly what we did….
We found ourselves in a twisted maze of traps, each of which caused us to tremble in fear, and scatter. Even with my glowing pants (thanks to the help of Maev), I was frightened. Against all odds, we managed to make it to the end of the maze where we made it down a long set of stairs. My wit and cunning aided us and we were asked for a password to enter the third level of the Castle… “Life ends in the dark”. Speaking those very words sent a chill down my spine.
Inside the Chamber, we fought even more Goblins, and a rather large spider. I attempted to command the Spider to fall into a pit, but the Spider did not heed to my cry of “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” Consequently, it ended up right on the Colonel’s face.
We passed through many rooms, each room worse than the next. Goblins swarmed us from all sides, but we held our ground. We fought them off. We prevailed. Our brave and fearless leader The Colonel fought off four goblins and one large warlord, but as he rightfully proclaimed, there could be only ONE warlord. With our support (and a few successful scorching bursts…mine not included) we developed a new strategy to defeat our enemies. LET THE COLONEL DO WHAT HE DOES BEST, RUSH AT ENEMIES HEADFIRST, AND THEN RAIN FIRE AT HIM AND ANY ENEMIES AROUND HIM. This tactic worked surprisingly well and although Three nearly perished, we were allowed us to enter the next Chamber where a large Jello blob was painstakingly slowly headed our way…With several zombies close by.
Bravely, we pushed the zombies into the blob and watched the two annihilate one another (with a little help from that fraking poisonous potion which that vile, vile man, sold us at the marketplace!). At the end of this hallway, a terrible image awaited…
Clothes, dolls, toys…Of none other than Skeletor’s children, no more…
The next room we found ourselves in was enormous. A large statue of a knight, and two others of dragons were present, leering at us as if tempting us to charge head on. The Colonel did just that and ended up nearly getting guillotined, and burned. Deciding to put Smeagol’s skills to use, I had him walk around the statues to find a safe path to the doorway at the end of the hall.
And we found one, only the moment Smeagol entered into the end of the hall, invisible barriers appeared, and the statues began to flood where he was trapped. Rushing to his aid, Pi and I began to bash in the statues. Maeve realized that she could reach the panels next to the statues by using her Magic Hands (a skill which I feel would be very useful in my line of work) to shut down the large statue of the man. Finally, we had managed to destroy the vase statues and moments before Smeagol drowned, the water flowed out leaving a clear path to the door at the end of the hall…
I can feel us close to the end now. The evil in the next few rooms feels unlike any I have ever felt. I know that time is running out.
I don’t know if this letter will ever find you, but the only thought that has been ensuring my survival and motivation in this dark, terrifying place, has been my love for you, and the thought that when this is all over my eyes will meet yours once again.
My brave comrades and I will prevail. We will close the hellmouth. I trust that the Gods will bring you and I together once again, and our love alone will push back the darkness. Until then my dearest, stay safe, stay true, stay alive. I am coming back to you.
May Melora be with you,
Her tide, not so much.
All my love, and then-some
Your brave and hopeful Cleric,
PS. I want to experience the joys of fatherhood. When I return, let us make babies. LOTS of babies. 500 BABIES!!!! Skeletor even said we should, if only to avenge the death of his children, so it must be done, and with the number of deaths suffered during this dark time, I think it’s time we were fruitful and multiplied. Why else do you think I brought back the toys belonging to Skeletor’s Children?