[the following is a series of magical audio waves, discovered by archeologists several hundred years following the incidents recorded. Apparently a group of brave warriors ventured into these dark, dark, corridors, attempting to fight a great evil…we are unsure of their fate, but these magical audio waves are all that currently remain…]
Dearest Sophia and any who intercept these audio waves:
I speak this entry in the middle of battle as a record of our having been here. I pray that when we emerge into the light of day, these voice prints will be a reminder of how close this world came to total annihila-
One moment, zombies everywhere. [the sound of shuffling, moaning as Terminus has forgotten to turn off the audio recording]
What in Melora’s name is that creature with wings?! Beat em down Colonel! Beat em down Pi! Beat –
Dammit! Stupid zombie preventing me from doing ranged attacks. I guess I’ll just have to destroy you the old fashioned way. EAT MACE! Ow! Hey that hurt! Ok that’s it!
[distant voice] YOU KILLED MY BROTHA?! GRAAA [sound of slicing and destruction]
[deep voice] WELL DONE LITTLE SQUIRT! This is indeed a dicey predicament we are in…
Maeve! Yes! Keep scorching burst the Colonel! What? No, no! I can heal him without having to try…Yes, yes, not to worry, I can’t fail when I utter a simple healing word! Have a little bit of faith!
We have successfully warded off the zombies and now make our way down a large flight of stairs…The things I do for the Colonel. He gets hurt, I heal him. He comes close to death, I bring him back into the light. I suppose I should be flattered that he constantly insults me. It must be his way of showing affection.
I can feel a disturbance in the holiness of this dungeon, as if we draw closer to a powerful evil…
We have now arrived in what appears to be a massive hall…No…There is blood everywhere! This must be the location of the ritual which will summon Orcus! Yes, yes it is! There is a man who looks familiar chanting in the center of the room.
Pi will attempt to sneak around to get a better look at – [the sound of metal falling and crashing, followed by cries of “BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD”]
Oh my. Well so much for sneaking. Lets see how – Oh my. These larger brutes look quite large and…I think I will stick to the more magical. With any luck he will be as weak as I am… [sound of chanting and cries of pain] Great Melora’s Tide! That is one powerful attack! I think I recognize that man from Priest College.
[sound of sword on sword clashing, hissing, vampiric assaults]
[deep voice] WAY TO FAIL! SMEAGOL IS KILLING MORE THAN YOU’VE EVER KILLED!
I cannot tolerate this any more! This magical man MUST be stopped! By the power of Melora, through the sheer powers that are bestowed upon me, THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! GO NOW! I COMMAND YOU TO JUMP INTO THE HOLE!!!
[the sound of falling followed by splat]
Sophia! I successfully commanded him to fall into the pit! I am now moving to heal my comrades, who are valiantly holding off these large brutes and vampire like beings… Oh… there goes Three, fleeing as she usually does and hiding behind a door.
What the- magical man has returned! Fight him my friends! I will heal you! I will heal – OWWWWWWW! What have I done to endure such pain?
[deep voice] AHHH MAN UP YA PANSY!
Very well then! Just for that, I will touch myself then! That’s right! I cannot possibly miss when I am touching myself! Yes! Everyone! Focus your attack on the magical man! [sound of explosions, fire, and a gargled death]
That’s right! You die now magical man! For there can be ONLY ONE!
[deep voice] SHUT UP.
[whispering now] Oh dear, it appears I left the audio recording on once again. To my dearest Sophia, and anyone who may one day discover these magical audio waves…
Our troupe is a brave lot, foolhearty at times, unskilled at others, and apparently cursed with our constant lack of skill. But we fought to the depths of this world, to protect those that we love. In this dark, evil, place where light is scarce, sleep is non-existent, and nothing but evil thoughts and moans permeate the very walls within our minds, it is sometimes difficult to remember the light, to remember WHY we are here. We are slowly going insane as dark thoughts flood every waking moment.
But know this…We fought bravely. We fought valiantly. We fought with our all, and thensome against al odds! And now as we proceed to the darkest chasm yet, our resolve will meet its greatest challenge yet.
Should we succeed, we will be remembered as heroes. Should we fail…then these audio waves will be all that remain of our effort-
[deep voice] WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF FAILBAG?
I’m not! Just thinking aloud! [whispering] This is Terminus the Cleric, and I love you Sophia. We will be united again! In this world, or the next…
[end of wave]